Start with what you know

rose candela

In ancestry research, a big fear in starting is not knowing where to begin. It can feel complicated at least to all the sudden add branches to your family tree. But here’s the thing: you start with the ancestor you know the most about. Then, you work from there. 

Actually, I’m certain that this feeling — the fear of not knowing, is woven into those first steps of all things new.

Right now, my journey is about making decisions and feeling good about them. It seems simple, but what I feel has been programmed into me in the last 5 months is fear. And for a good reason, there’s a pandemic out there and we need to take care of each other. 

But after a good therapy session and a few conversations with friends, this week I consider this: 

what if I make a decision and then imagine the possibilities from that decision, instead of the doomed outcome that could also happen?

We all want to avoid painful outcomes. That’s often why, say, when we decide to start a new project we imagine how it won’t work out, because we want to prepare ourselves to be ready for pain. Often, that imagining then leads us to stay inert and possibly not doing the project at all.

Yet, like you know, even with a great pain-preventing plan in place, when you’re faced with the thing you fear the most you don’t call upon your plan.  

When in a painful situation you call upon your knowing, your intuition, your staying in the moment. 

Hopefully, you call on what you know — not what you imagined you’ll know, to guide you through. 

Start with what you know. And then do something radical. Imagine the greatest possible scenario after that decision, even just for a moment. I hope that doing so helps you approach fear as your guide, rather than your oppressor.

Embracing you,


Interested in learning more about your ancestry? I’m taking a few special clients to explore ancestry and where your people come from. Please reach out here if you’d like to learn more.

Start with what you know

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